…”Oh let me just add”…

Many years ago I was invited to play in a Golf Outin’ down in the Centerville/Brent area of Alabama. It was bein’ held at a small, very nice little (Country) Country Club. I remember bein’ impressed by the golf course it’s self. It was very well maintained for not bein’ any larger than it was. I don’t remember exactly WHO was actually hostin’ it. But an ole friend of mine, “The Ole Tater Chip Salesman”, worked for a local Snack Food Company, who was one of the companies contributing to the Sponsorship of the days outin’. The Ole Tater Chip Salesman invited three of us (The Ole Insurance Rep, The Ole Army Depot Clerk, & I) that were all friends, to join him on a Team that his company was sponsorin’. It was a standard type “Best Ball” team format. For those of you who aren’t familiar with that term it’s that all four (4) members, per a team, each hit a shot on a given hole, & then they play the BEST SHOT (hit ball) of a Team member. Thus the term “Best Ball Format”. Even though there are four (4) actual shots available to a team, per Par Ratin’, per hole (x18 holes), there’s an awful lot of “Cheatin’ ” that takes place in these types of Golf Outin’. You pick the types of players (Dr’s, Lawyers, Judges, Salesmen, Mechanics, Land Barons, etc.). Anyone that tells you that their team played “Straight UP”, {{{{{ Cough, Cough – Bull $#!+ – Cough }}}}}, is just lyin’ to you! It’s a competition! People, I don’t care how honest they are, CHEATIN’, in these types of Golf Games, is common place. It’s just part of the fun of it. Then everyone enjoys a good meal together, as the awards/prizes that were donated are awarded. The Winners are determined by WHO CHEATED THE BEST (without gettin’ caught)! Then the days activities are over. It was a good day, good food & good fun. Now we headed home. On the way we were all reminiscin’ on the days events, had the radio cranked up, & three of us noticed the sound of {{{ “Snorin’ ” }}} comin’ from the Shot Gun Seat! The Ole Tater Chip Salesman, our host for the day, was sleepin’! It could have been from a number of things, the ride home, the borin’ company, playin’ in the hot sun that day, or TOO much COLD BEER on the Expense Account! Well, The Ole Army Depot Clerk got the idea for us “to have a little fun, at our host’s expense”. We decided to count down from three (3), {{{{{ SCREAM ! }}}}} at the tops of our lungs, & for me, the driver, SLAM ON THE BRAKES!. We knew we would be approachin’ a long straight away soon. There was a Loggin’ Truck in my rear view mirror. I let him pass me so we weren’t in any danger of hittin’ anyone or anyone hittin’ us. Then The Insurance Rep, of ALL people, started countin’ us down. 3 – 2 – 1 – {{{{{ SCREAM ! (x3) }}}}}, the sound of {{{{{ SCREECHING TIRES ! }}}}}, The Ole Tater Chip Salesman was slung forward, his Seat Belt Lock UP on him, &  he began to SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL! I mean {{{ Blood Curdlin’ Screamin’ }}} ! Not just once but several times over several seconds! But it seemed longer than that.Then he realized we were all laughin’ our asses off! It was funny! Damned Funny I must say, well at least to the three (3) of us! I had to pull over to keep from wreckin’ my car, from laughin’ so much & so hard! Needless to say The Ole Tater Chip Salesman didn’t think it was so damn funny. Oh well, sometimes, ya just have to find comedy & laughter where you can. And usually it’s at someone else’s expence! Oh let me just add, he didn’t fall back to sleep the rest of the way home!…”Hold’em Hook”!…..BG>

…”maybe ya just had to be there”…

There was a time, way back when, when we , our family, would every now & then go on a day trip to different places with another family. Friends of our. Our kids were just a couple of years apart. In each family there was a son & daughter. So the trips & days went well. On this particular day we were headed to Tallapoosa, GA. Our destination was for two stores right next door to each other. One was a Golf Supply Outlet & the other was a Year Round Christmas Store. Now, I’ll let y’all guess who was headed to which stores. The other family just happened to have a Mini Van & we all fit in it just fine. The bad thing was the other Father, he’s an “Ole Tater Chip Salesman”, would drive. I always questioned his “Man Hood” as he just looked too happy to be drivin’ a “Mini Van”! The highlight of the day happened as we were approachin’ downtown Tallapoosa, GA. It ain’t a real big town. We came in on GA Hwy #100, crossed over the ole Rail Road Tracks, turned on to US Hwy 78 & were slowly easin’ down main street. Now Tallapoosa, GA. is an OLD COUNTRY TOWN. The Ole side walks were elevated, had roofs extendin’ out over the ole sidewalks for shade & to keep the rain off of ya I guess. They were real narrow. With everything in such close proximity there, ya know, really made things reverberate underneath’em, pretty damn loud (remember that). Folks were leisurely  strollin’ along lookin’ as though they had no where to be in a hurry, as ole Country Folk do. As we eased along I noticed an Ole Dog, “Ole Blue” I called ’em, & he was just followin’ is nose along the side walk. Now “Ole Blue” was a TRIPOD! He was long legged, ribs was slightly showin’, he was just lopin’ along & had a pretty good gait goin’ too, for an Ole Tripod. I guess he was either sniffin’ out who all had been cruisin’ his territory as dogs do or he was sniffin’ for a tasty snack, dropped from some of the Saturday Strollers. Well I was ridin’ “Shotgun” & spotted “Ole Blue” bout a 1/2 a block in front of us. Well, I don’t know why it did but a strange hankerin’ was comin’ on me. The closer we got to “Ole Blue” the more excited I got. I kinda felt like a Cat, crouched down gettin’ ready to pounce. The only difference was my tail, cause I don’t have one, wasn’t twiitchin’ the closer we got to’em. There were conversations goin’ on inside the Mini Van so everyone was preoccupied & not payin’ any attention to me & they hadn’t seen “Ole Blue” yet. As I eased my window down, the attention shifted to me. A couple of folks was askin’, in unison, “why are you lettin’ the AC out”? The whole time I was easin’ my arm out the window, I sat up tall in my seat & {{{{{ WHAM! – WHAM! – WHAM!!! }}}}} I beat on the side of that Mini Van, scarin’ the hell out of everyone in it. The guy drivin’ didn’t know if he’d hit somethin’ or someone had hit him! At the same time I was doin’ my best imitation of a “BIG DOG” barkin’, {{{{{ Arrrr! – Arrrr! – Arrrr – Arrr!!! }}}}}. My Bride & my children figured it out pretty quick. They know me! The driver’s wife & kids were still tryin’ to figure out what their Dad/Her Husband had hit!. “Ole Blue” flung his head around, tucked his tail between his legs, as though there was a BIG Ole Dog about to take off part of his ass! He was tryin’ to get some traction to get the hell out of there. It was kinda like his clutch was slippin’! His ole long lanky legs were goin’ thru the motions but he just wasn’t gettin’ no where. Bout that time his ole paws caught traction, he flung his ole head back to the left & {{{{{ WHAM ! }}}}}. Right into the side of the buildin’, face first! {{{{{ Rrr – Rrr – Rrr – Rrr!!! }}}}} the whole time & down he went!. He finally got up, still just a hollerin’ {{{{{ Rrr – Rrr – Rrr – Rrr!!! }}}}} & took out around the corner & he never checked up!!! I laughed so hard my ribs & throat were hurtin’. Like a chain reaction, from the others in the “Mini Van”, all began to break out in laughter as well. Except for “Ole Tater Chip Salesman” he was still tryin’ to figure out what just happened to his “MiniVan”. I don’t know, maybe ya just had to be there. We didn’t buy anything that day but it was pretty entertain’ for me I must say…”Hold’em Hook”!…..BG>

…”I might even troll a line”…

My Bride & daughter met up with another Mother & Daughter & are on a “Mother Daughter Beach Week” get away. They left this mornin’, met up with the others along the way, & are now in Destin, FL along the Gulf Coast just chillin’. They also met up with an Ole Friend of ours tonight & probably are “Sippin’ Wine & Tellin’ Fairy Lies” about folks. My son & his family are at “Mouse World”. As for me, I ran some errands today. One turned out to be just a “Wild Goose Chase” into The Ham. But this evenin’ I’m here all by my lonesome. It’s amazin’ just how quiet this ole house is when it’s just me here. I have taken some time this evenin’ to check on & readin’ up about several friends that are experiencin’ issues in their lives. Makes me realize how fortunate I am. As I always said “God takes care of Babies & Fools”! Well, I ain’t no Baby. As for tomorrow I plan on gettin’ out on the water & just cruise along. No where to go & a long time to get there! Hell, I might even troll a line out behind the Pontoon Boat. Oh how I do love bein’ on the water. Night night to all…”Hold’em Hook”!…..BG>

…””HAPPY FATHERS DAY”…

Out on The Deck 5-26-16Today is “Fathers Day”! To all of you FATHERS “HAPPY FATHERS DAY”! To both of my Fathers, Charles W. Gray (1953 R.I.P.) & my Step-Father Claude C. McGraw (2002 R.I.P.), I thank them for, both, the rolls they played in my life. My Father (Charles) passed away, in an accident, when I was only 20 months old. I really never knew him. I would also like to thank all of those “Neighbor Hood Fathers” who shared their time & leadership with me in my early years. To THEIR children thank you for sharing them with me, it meant more than you’ll ever know. To those of you who have lost your Fathers cherish your time & memories with them. To those of you who are lucky enough to still have your Fathers make sure you recognize them today. The day will come when you’ll wish you had. If you can’t be with them today CALL them, it’ll mean an awful lot. Folks of my age & older care NOTHING about getting a TEXT. DON”T DO IT!. Those are for you younger folks. As for Me, I’m blessed to have my Children & Grandchildren with me…”Hold’em Hook”…..BG>

…”as it was celebrated here”…

09-10-2016-watchin-bama-football“Another one in the books”! “MOTHERS DAY (Weekend)” is officially done. My son, his family & his Father-in-law just pulled out. My two granddaughters were both cryin’ cause they didn’t want to leave Papa & Gigi’s house. Yeah, I do Love That!  My daughter had to work this weekend. But there WILL be other times together. My sister & brother-in-law, & Special Friends/Extended Family joined us for Boatin’, playin’ in the water, & Perch Jerkin’/Bream Fishin’ with Willow Flys! We had a huge hatchin’ Friday night. Saturday mornin’ all we had to do was hand pick our bait as we needed it. The surroundin’ bushes, trees, & pier poles were all covered with’em.  It’s fun with the Grands. But to watch three grown men down there as well, fightin’ for “The HOT SPOT” really was funny. Grillin’ out with family & friends. Grilled Steaks, Cool Beer & sides. It was great. Friends, Family, good food & fun together. Folks, it just don’t get any better than that! Hope all the Mothers of the world enjoyed “their day” as much as it was celebrated here….”Hold’em Hook”!…..BG>

Part #4…”Bein’ Prepared”…”carrin’ a shovel around”

Part #4: …”Bein’ Prepared”: …”carrin’ a shovel around”

“Bein’ Prepared is somethin’ that was always taught to & instilled in me from my Mother”.

One of my ole friends (the Lumber Broker) entered a BBQ Cook-Off contest in The Ham. It was a pretty big to do. I mean there were Professional BBQ’ers in from all over the country. The Cook-Off was open to all classes (Beginners, Backyarders, Intermediates, & Pro Class). Well another ole friend (the Lawyer) called me, told me it was startin’ on a Thursday (I think) to get set up. Then the Cookin’ would take place startin’ on Friday with the final Judgin’ on Sunday. Let me tell ya, it was an event. Hell, there was all day & all night Bands playin’ on a stage near by, cookin’ around the clock, & more Special Sauces than you could taste. What more could a bunch of Good Ole Southern Boys enjoy other than Three days of {{{ Cold }}} Beer & BBQ Tastin’ ? I checked with the “Powers That Be, my Bride” & she consented that I could go play with the Boys. For some reason durin’ the day on Saturday the Lumber Broker’s fire got too hot! He needed to do somethin’ to cool it down. I sat down my {{{ Cold ! }}} Beer & said I’ll be back in a few minutes. I went out to the parkin’ lot, to my truck, opened my tool box & retrieved the needed tool. When I got back I found the Lumber Broker, said here, & held out a small Military style Foldin’ Shovel. “Where the hell did you get a damn shovel”? he said. The crowd around us all looked on & started laughin’ as I responded “out of truck tool box”! He asked, somethin’ like, “what the hell are you doin’ carrin’ a shovel around” I asked “do you need it or not”? Long story short, it was a fun time had by all…“Hold’em Hook”!…..BG>

Part #3…”Bein’ Prepared”…”or Regular flavored”…

Part #3: “Bein’ Prepared”: …”or Regular flavored”…

“Bein’ Prepared is somethin’ that was always taught to & instilled in me from my Mother”.

On another campin’ trip to Wind Creek, yeah with the same ole group of families (the Marine, the Banker, & the Parts Man) we all got there early, well except for the Marine & his family, & got our tents set up & organized. We went about gatherin’ Firewood, with the Ski Rope. The kids all got a kick out of that. The truth be known, so did I! We were gettin’ ready for supper over the camp fire. It was after dark when the Marine & his family finally made it  but we all got our meals out, cooked’em all & were startin’ to relax for the evenin’. The Marine said he be back, had to get their tent up and unload their stuff. The rest of us started enjoyin’ adult beverages & realixed quite abit of time had passed, the Marine hadn’t returned. So we Dads/Good Ole Boys went lookin’ for our Marine. As we appeared on his camp site it would appear he was havin’ one hell of a time gettin’ tent up. After everyone laughin’ & makin’ all the required “Smart Ass comments” I asked “did you happen to read the Instructions”?, Marines quicklt snapped at me “Marines don’t need instructions to put a damn tent up”! I just couldn’t let it go. I asked “where are your your instructions”? He looked at me, & in the dark, I could see he wasn’t happy. Then the quite soft voice of his wife responded “I have’em right here”! The Marine was just grunttin’ a lot. The he responded, somethin’ like, “OK Smart Ass lets see you do it”! I asked his Bride for the Instructions & within just a few minutes we, the other “Good Ole Boys” had it up. I handed him back his Instruction, a hammer, & asked if he could finish it? Well after all the Smart Ass Comments, again, the rest of  headed down the hill to the fire & another adult beverage. As we were in the middle of tellin’ “Ole Fairy Lies” the Marine & his bride came to join us. He was still grumpy ans said something to the affect that he wished he had a Tooth Pick or some Dental Floss. I picked up my {{{ Cold }}} Beer & told my Bride I’d be back in a few minutes. I was asked, by someone, maybe the Marine, “where are YOU goin’ “? I’ll be right back I responded. Off into the dark I went. The Marine made a comment, somethin’ to the effect of, “if he comes back here with Dental Floss I’ll kick his ass”! Well as fate had it, I did come back with Dental Floss. I held out my hand to him & asked “if he wanted Spear Mint, Cinnamon, Peppermint, Strawberry, or Regular flavored”? And the laughter began…All in all it was a good trip…“Hold’em Hook”!…..BG>